Family Guy Season 5 Episode Guide

Family Guy’s fifth season first aired on the Fox network in eighteen episodes from September 10, 2006 to May 20, 2007 before being released as two DVD box sets and in syndication. It premiered with the episode “Stewie Loves Lois” and finished with “Meet the Quagmires”. The Family Guy series follows the dysfunctional Griffin family-father Peter, mother Lois, daughter Meg, son Chris, baby Stewie and Brian, the family pet, who reside in their hometown of Quahog. The executive producers for the fifth season were David Goodman, Chris Sheridan, Danny Smith and series creator Seth MacFarlane. The showrunner for the fifth season was Goodman.

Meet the Quagmires

(Season 5 Episode 18)
First Aired: May 20, 2007
s05e18-meet-the-quagmires.jpg

Death grants Peter’s wish of going back in time to be 18 again just for one night so that he can sow his wild oats. In 1984, he bails on a date with Lois to go to a bar and make out with a movie actress, but when he returns to the present, he discovers that he is now married to the former starlet and Lois is with Quagmire. Meanwhile, Stewie, Chris and Meg have all inherited Quagmire’s charming characteristics.

  • Watch It!
  • Images
  • Quotes
  • Script
  • Summary
  • Download
  • Buy DVD

It Takes a Village Idiot, and I Married One

(Season 5 Episode 17)
First Aired: May 13, 2007
s05e17-it-takes-a-village-idiot.jpg

When Lois runs for mayor of Quahog, she isn’t the front-runner until she “dumbs down” her political views. Once in office, she’s corrupted by the power and starts accepting bribes so that she can buy herself expensive trinkets. Meanwhile, Peter’s enjoying being the “first lady” and all of the perks that go along with it.

  • Watch It!
  • Images
  • Quotes
  • Script
  • Summary
  • Download
  • Buy DVD

No Chris Left Behind

(Season 5 Episode 16)
First Aired: May 06, 2007
s05e16-no-chris-left-behind.jpg

When Chris gets expelled from school, the family enrolls him in a snooty boarding school Mr. Pewterschmidt attended, but Chris doesn’t exactly fit in. Meanwhile, the chicken returns to pick a fight with Peter, but you’ll never guess how it all ends.

  • Watch It!
  • Images
  • Quotes
  • Script
  • Summary
  • Download
  • Buy DVD

Boys Do Cry

(Season 5 Episode 15)
First Aired: April 29, 2007
s05e15-boys-do-cry.jpg

The family heads to church when Lois gets a gig as the organist, but after Stewie gets sick the congregation is convinced he’s possessed by the devil. So, the family goes on the run and ends up in Texas. Peter fits right in with the cowboys, Stewie enters the “Little Miss Texas” pageant and Chris and Meg sneak into George W. Bush’s house.

  • Watch It!
  • Images
  • Quotes
  • Script
  • Summary
  • Download
  • Buy DVD

No Meals on Wheels

(Season 5 Episode 14)
First Aired: March 25, 2007
s05e14-no-meals-on-wheels.jpg

After Peter finds a valuable coin and sells it for $50,000, he and Lois open their own restaurant. Peter is dismayed, however, when Joe and all of his handicapped friends begin using the restaurant as their hangout, and bans them all. This leads to a huge showdown and an ironic fate for Peter.

  • Watch It!
  • Images
  • Quotes
  • Script
  • Summary
  • Download
  • Buy DVD

Bill and Peter’s Bogus Journey

(Season 5 Episode 13)
First Aired: March 11, 2007
s05e13-bill-and-peters-bogus-journey.jpg

Peter’s attempts to become physically fit lead to a friendship with Bill Clinton, which inadvertently nearly destroys Peter & Lois’ marriage. Meanwhile, Lois and Stewie try to potty-train Brian.

  • Watch It!
  • Images
  • Quotes
  • Script
  • Summary
  • Download
  • Buy DVD

Airport ’07

(Season 5 Episode 12)
First Aired: March 04, 2007
s05e12-airport-07.jpg

Peter becomes a redneck and gets Quagmire fired. So the gang sets out to get Quagmire his job back. When the plan flops, Quagmire receives advice from his idol, Hugh Hefner, which leads him to save the day.

  • Watch It!
  • Images
  • Quotes
  • Script
  • Summary
  • Download
  • Buy DVD

The Tan Aquatic with Steve Zissou

(Season 5 Episode 11)
First Aired: February 18, 2007
s05e11-the-tan-aquatic-with-steve-zisso.jpg

Peter becomes the neighborhood bully after trying to take care of Chris’s bully, and Stewie has a cancer scare after staying in the tanning bed too long. Stewie gets sunburned and fears he has cancer. While waiting for the results of his cancer screening, Stewie begins to live his life as if he had only days to live and drives Brian crazy with his demands.

  • Watch It!
  • Images
  • Quotes
  • Script
  • Summary
  • Download
  • Buy DVD

Peter’s Two Dads

(Season 5 Episode 10)
First Aired: February 11, 2007
s05e10-peters-two-dads.jpg

After Peter’s dad, Francis, dies, he finds out from Thelma that his real father lives in Ireland. So Peter and Brian head there in search of his father, who ends up being the town drunk, which is a great honor, and he challenges him to a drinking game to prove his paternity. Meanwhile, Stewie acts out and Lois spanks him, but he quickly realizes that he likes it and does whatever he can to get into trouble.

  • Watch It!
  • Images
  • Quotes
  • Script
  • Summary
  • Download
  • Buy DVD

Road to Rupert

(Season 5 Episode 9)
First Aired: January 28, 2007
s05e09-road-to-rupert.jpg

Brian sells Rupert at a garage sale. Stewie, who is upset with Brian, takes him cross country to Colorado to find his beloved teddy, and ends up having a ski-off to win back Rupert. Meanwhile, Peter loses his license, so Meg has to drive him around.

  • Watch It!
  • Images
  • Quotes
  • Script
  • Summary
  • Download
  • Buy DVD

Barely Legal

(Season 5 Episode 8)
First Aired: December 17, 2006
s05e08-barely-legal.jpg

Meg can’t find a date to her junior prom, and even though he is dating Jillian, Brian ends up going with Meg. At the prom, Brian gets drunk to make the night pass, but ends up making out with Meg. Meg begins to think of Brian as her boyfriend and becomes obsessed with spending every moment with him. Meanwhile, Peter, Cleveland and Quagmire join the police force to help Brian.

  • Watch It!
  • Images
  • Quotes
  • Script
  • Summary
  • Download
  • Buy DVD

Chick Cancer

(Season 5 Episode 7)
First Aired: November 26, 2006
s05e07-chick-cancer.jpg

Stewie tries to win over a retired child actress, and Peter becomes a fan of “chick movies” and makes his own. Meanwhile, Lois introduces Peter to chick flicks, and he decides to make his own movie based on the plots of every girly movie ever made.

  • Watch It!
  • Images
  • Quotes
  • Script
  • Summary
  • Download
  • Buy DVD

Prick Up Your Ears

(Season 5 Episode 6)
First Aired: November 19, 2006
s05e06-pick-up-your-ears.jpg

Lois becomes the high school sex ed teacher, but is fired for having “radical” views. So she is replaced by a Christian group that uses fear, misinformation and lies to promote abstinence. Meanwhile, Meg and her new guy take an abstinence pledge, but still manage to find a loophole. And a terrified Stewie sets a series of traps for the Tooth Fairy, hell-bent on destroying him.

  • Watch It!
  • Images
  • Quotes
  • Script
  • Summary
  • Download
  • Buy DVD

Whistle While Your Wife Works

(Season 5 Episode 5)
First Aired: November 12, 2006
s05e05-whistle-while-your-wife-works.jpg

Lois does Peter’s work at the brewery while he recovers from getting his fingers surgically reattached. Meanwhile, when Stewie discovers that Brian is dating a very attractive but intellectually challenged girl named Jillian, he tries to convince Brian to break up with her, but Brian can’t close the deal because she is so hot.

  • Watch It!
  • Images
  • Quotes
  • Script
  • Summary
  • Download
  • Buy DVD

Saving Private Brian

(Season 5 Episode 4)
First Aired: November 05, 2006
s05e04-saving-private-brian.jpg

Stewie and Brian join the army, go through basic training, and are sent to Iraq where they try everything possible to get an honorable discharge. Meanwhile, Chris becomes the lead singer of a rock band until Peter and Lois get Marilyn Manson to talk him out of it.

  • Watch It!
  • Images
  • Quotes
  • Script
  • Summary
  • Download
  • Buy DVD

Hell Comes to Quahog

(Season 5 Episode 3)
First Aired: September 24, 2006
s05e03-hell-comes-to-quahog.jpg

Meg takes a job at the local “superstore,” but the store causes Peter to lose his job and his electricity. So he becomes the store’s most vocal critic – until it offers him a job. Brian and Stewie decide to take matters into their own hands in order to save the town from the corporate giant.

  • Watch It!
  • Images
  • Quotes
  • Script
  • Summary
  • Download
  • Buy DVD

Mother Tucker

(Season 5 Episode 2)
First Aired: September 17, 2006
s05e02-mother-tucker.jpg

Peter’s mom starts dating TV anchor Tom Tucker, causing Peter to turn to him as the father figure he always wanted. And Brian and Stewie begin hosting their own raunchy radio program.

  • Watch It!
  • Images
  • Quotes
  • Script
  • Summary
  • Download
  • Buy DVD

Stewie Loves Lois

(Season 5 Episode 1)
First Aired: September 10, 2006
s05e01-stewie-loves-lois.jpg

When Lois saves his beloved teddy bear, Rupert, Stewie starts to think that maybe he shouldn’t kill his dear old mom and clings to her like a baby blanket. However, Stewie’s change in demeanor doesn’t go over well with Lois and she gets sick of all his loving attention. Meanwhile, Peter undergoes a prostate exam and thinks his doctor is molesting him.

  • Watch It!
  • Images
  • Quotes
  • Script
  • Summary
  • Download
  • Buy DVD